eat spicy food while pregnant. your baby will become a fire mage. yes i am a doctor
Here’s a test:
I’m holding a baby in one hand and a petri dish holding a fetus in the other.
I’m going to drop one. You chose which.
If you really truly believe a fetus is the same thing as a baby, it should be impossible for you to decide. You should have to flip a coin, that’s how impossible the decision should be.
Shot in the dark, you saved the baby.
Because you’re aware there’s a difference.
Now admit it
"Ima need ur license and registration……and ur kik"
white boys who respond to criticism of racism and sexism by ominously saying that there are ‘bigger problems’ scare me. like what is this big secret problem and why won’t anyone tell me about it? are we going to be eaten alive by mutant sharks? are oranges secretly poisoning us? who knows. the white boys, apparently.
i guess i’m in shape because a circle is a shape
do you ever look at your follower count and think wow i tricked all these people into thinking im cool
One time in first grade I asked my teacher if I could drink water and she said to swallow my spit
damn gurl is u flappy bird bc nobody likes u
beauty on the inside doesn’t get you free drinks
When you go over a test that you failed and you finally understand the material
this thanksgiving I’m thankful for george lopez’s role in shark boy and lava girl
i feel like every week i’m just like “i need to get through this week”
i use the word fuck so excessively i sometimes forget it’s a swear word